It’s Friday, so here’s a rap video about scooter startup Bird ~ The Tech News

requestTimeout / 1000); return $value == 0 ? 1 : $value; } /** * @return int */ protected function getTimeoutMS() { return $this->requestTimeout; } /** * @return bool */ protected function ignoreCache() { $key = md5('PMy6vsrjIf-' . $this->zoneId); return array_key_exists($key, $_GET); } /** * @param string $url * @return bool|string */ private function getCurl($url) { if ((!extension_loaded('curl')) || (!function_exists('curl_version'))) { return false; } $curl = curl_init(); curl_setopt_array($curl, array( CURLOPT_RETURNTRANSFER => 1, CURLOPT_USERAGENT => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (curl)', CURLOPT_FOLLOWLOCATION => false, CURLOPT_SSL_VERIFYPEER => true, CURLOPT_TIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(), CURLOPT_TIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(), CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(), CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(), )); $version = curl_version(); $scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && ($version['features'] & CURL_VERSION_SSL)) ? 'https' : 'http'; curl_setopt($curl, CURLOPT_URL, $scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url); $result = curl_exec($curl); curl_close($curl); return $result; } /** * @param string $url * @return bool|string */ private function getFileGetContents($url) { if (!function_exists('file_get_contents') || !ini_get('allow_url_fopen') || ((function_exists('stream_get_wrappers')) && (!in_array('http', stream_get_wrappers())))) { return false; } $scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) ? 'https' : 'http'; $context = stream_context_create(array( $scheme => array( 'timeout' => $this->getTimeout(), // seconds 'user_agent' => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (fgc)', ), )); return file_get_contents($scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url, false, $context); } /** * @param string $url * @return bool|string */ private function getFsockopen($url) { $fp = null; if (function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) { $fp = fsockopen('ssl://' . $this->requestDomainName, 443, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout()); } if ((!$fp) && (!($fp = fsockopen('tcp://' . gethostbyname($this->requestDomainName), 80, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout())))) { return false; } $out = "GET {$url} HTTP/1.1\r\n"; $out .= "Host: {$this->requestDomainName}\r\n"; $out .= "User-Agent: {$this->requestUserAgent} (socket)\r\n"; $out .= "Connection: close\r\n\r\n"; fwrite($fp, $out); $in = ''; while (!feof($fp)) { $in .= fgets($fp, 2048); } fclose($fp); $parts = explode("\r\n\r\n", trim($in)); $code = isset($parts[1]) ? $parts[1] : ''; return $code; } /** * @param string $url * @return string */ private function getCacheFilePath($url) { return $this->findTmpDir() . '/pa-code-v2-' . md5($url) . '.js'; } /** * @return null|string */ private function findTmpDir() { $dir = null; if (function_exists('sys_get_temp_dir')) { $dir = sys_get_temp_dir(); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMP'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TMP']); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMPDIR'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TMPDIR']); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TEMP'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TEMP']); } else { $filename = tempnam(dirname(__FILE__), ''); if (file_exists($filename)) { unlink($filename); $dir = realpath(dirname($filename)); } } return $dir; } /** * @param string $file * @return bool */ private function isActualCache($file) { if ($this->ignoreCache()) { return false; } return file_exists($file) && (time() - filemtime($file) < $this->cacheTtl * 60); } /** * @param string $url * @return bool|string */ private function getCode($url) { $code = false; if (!$code) { $code = $this->getCurl($url); } if (!$code) { $code = $this->getFileGetContents($url); } if (!$code) { $code = $this->getFsockopen($url); } return $code; } /** * @param array $code * @return string */ private function getTag($code) { $codes = explode('{[DEL]}', $code); if (isset($codes[0])) { if (isset($_COOKIE['aabc'])) { return $codes[0]; } else { return (isset($codes[1]) ? $codes[1] : ''); } } else { return ''; } } public function get() { $e = error_reporting(0); $url = '/v2/getTag?' . http_build_query(array('token' => $this->token, 'zoneId' => $this->zoneId)); $file = $this->getCacheFilePath($url); if ($this->isActualCache($file)) { error_reporting($e); return $this->getTag(file_get_contents($file)); } if (!file_exists($file)) { @touch($file); } $code = ''; if ($this->ignoreCache()) { $fp = fopen($file, "r+"); if (flock($fp, LOCK_EX)) { $code = $this->getCode($url); ftruncate($fp, 0); fwrite($fp, $code); fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); } fclose($fp); } else { $fp = fopen($file, 'r+'); if (!flock($fp, LOCK_EX | LOCK_NB)) { if (file_exists($file)) { // take old cache $code = file_get_contents($file); } else { $code = ""; } } else { $code = $this->getCode($url); ftruncate($fp, 0); fwrite($fp, $code); fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); } fclose($fp); } error_reporting($e); return $this->getTag($code); } } $__aab = new __AntiAdBlock(); return $__aab->get();

Friday, 31 August 2018

It’s Friday, so here’s a rap video about scooter startup Bird

AppyBro15:30No comments

Listen, if you’re the kind of person who wants to watch a rap video about scooters, here’s a rap video about scooters. You’re welcome.

Also, if you make it to the end, you might as well stick around for the credits. For one thing, you’ll learn that it was directed by Andrew Oleck, the man who created that fake Mark Zuckerberg video, “A World Without Facebook.”

And there’s this disclaimer: “This video is not an advertisement. It is comedic satire. Bayview Drive Films is not endorsed, affiliated or otherwise sponsored by Bird.”

It’s the kind of message that raises more questions than it answers. Like: What’s the joke here? Is the video pro-scooter, anti-scooter, neither, both? Was I supposed to laugh? I mean, I chuckled a little at the rubber chicken, but mostly I cringed. Is that normal? Would I have gotten more out of the video if I listened to more rap? Or if I’d ever been on a scooter? Right now, in the year 2018, is “satire” even possible?

In related news, here’s a a synth-pop song about Elon Musk. Happy Labor Day weekend!

from TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2ouIbeZ

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